It's Not That Crap After All...

Yes, it's Day 19 JulNoWriMo and I'm behind my word count target —.— I've reached a whopping 29,000 when I should be just shy of 31,000. Yeah, okay, that's not such a great difference, I'm only a day behind. But since my writing pace has been dragging, it feels a whole lot bigger! O.o

Even after tweaking the plots and beginning over, for some reason my belief in my creation was dying again. Thank the monkeys it wasn't boredom this time, because if your bored with your own work, that if anything is a sure sign of literary death right then and there. But now I was thinking "this really sounds awful." Worse, I was thinking, "my previous WriMo turned out much better." I've been constantly comparing what I'm writing to arbitrary concepts of 'my other manuscript' and some undefined, vague 'general concept of literary canon.'

So, fearing I was brewing some horrible slop that is deadly at the mildest whiff, I decided to read a portion of this raw version to my mother. Okay, fair enough, she was half-asleep when I did, and surely mothers will always compliment their children's work no matter its market quality (least my will ^__^). But that wasn't what changed my viewpoint. Reading it out loud, I actually heard myself what potential the text had. I heard that it was just fine, just as good as my previous manuscript. The only point where the text got a little shakier was the point I'd started doubting and second-guessing myself. Otherwise it was perfect text (from a first-draft viewpoint).

Okay, I can't say if writing will be quicker now, since I haven't written anything more yet. But I'm much more sure now that struggling through is definitely worth while. And I'm very sure that the Mrs. Inner Editor is definitely and over-stressed, uptight and critique-ridden fool who needs to be given a permanent vacation. Not even when I'm editing does she me much good. And she's the nastiest, meanest cow I know. And she never pays her rent on time.

And I'm betting a lot of authors out there who feel their writing is bad, are writing far better quality that their Mr. and Mrs. Inner Editors will ever let them know. And I know this because I've read some stuff from my friends, and minus one or two perfectly forgiveable quirks they shone with potential to be best sellers.

Least, it's what I think.