Deadlines!!

I hate and love them!

Write Like You Mean It

You know that feeling of having about three or four of them breathing down your neck thinking the same darn thing: "tick-tock"? Well, that's my life in a box right now.

Of course there are positive sides to this. I only have 8 chapters left from a 14 chapter manuscript go go over. I have just over a month to do that. I have about 4 pictures drawn from final target of 40-60. I have about a month and a half for that.
And of course there's Camp NaNoWriMo coming up. Of course I've lost my plot notes for my novel.

Deadlines seem like one of those Marmite kinds of things, you have to hate or love them, there is no middle ground. But I wonder what it's like for other writers.
I don't seem to be able to get much done without a deadline. I say I will go to the library to write, or the café on wealthier days, and then I find a funny video on YouTube and off we are. Next I look at the clock, it's six and everywhere is closed.

X Days, Y Hours and Z Minutes
Until You're DOOMED!

Now if there is a deadline pressing on me, it's a bit different.
I think about wasting away on YouTube and suddenly it's like this angry old lady appears over my shoulder and screams, "What!! Don't you realise you've only got X days Y hours and Z minutes before you're DOOMED!?"
And like magic I find that extra bit of motivation to actually go to the library.

Then again there is also the evil side. Like when that old lady tells you that you only have so many days, and you realise that a week factually isn't long enough to paint a perfect replica of the Mona Lisa while blindfolded. Yet you can't very well do nothing.
So begins what can only be adequately described as the death trek of the "next best thing". That commendable yet inevitably slightly sad effort to save yourself which results in staying up until 3 AM almost every night and excessive consumption of coffee.

Then, about three days before the deadline, you take a look at what you have and get a reassuring sense of confidence. You are almost there. Even with only so much time you will certainly make it. You relax a little, take some well deserved time off to recharge.When you go back to your project, feeling refreshed reassures you that little R&R was definitely justified.

One day before your deadline, you take a look at what you have and want to chew your own arm off. You're not even close. You'll never make it. In fact the half-finished piece of junk that you will most likely be forced to turn in has the semblance of the brilliant idea you had when you started. An idea which you could have finished if only you'd not taken that R&R time a few days earlier. This phase is called 'regret the R&R' also known as 'panic'. This is the night you stay up as long as humanly possible, if indeed you choose to sleep at all, using every precious minute to complete your project.

The moment of presentation draws close. You're nervous, near terror. In truth if you ran right now and moved far away somewhere nice like India or Hawaii, and changed your name, surely things would be made right. Then the moment comes, and you stand in front of actual people and actually show your actual work, and suddenly come to realise, it's not quite as catastrophic as you first thought. Considering you spent only 7 days on it, it really does have the semblance of a masterpiece.
People hum and nod and after the day is over, you go home, much more relieved, with much fewer brain cells and higher blood pressure, and acknowledge that indeed it was work you'd never have done that fast if it wasn't for the deadline.

Although I'm not exactly hoping it will turn out like this, somehow it always tends to with me.

Sound familiar?

Simian City News! A Rare Species Spotted

'About time we heard
something from this Writer Monkey'

And now it's time for the latest news from your favourite...

SIMIAN CITY NEWS!

I'm your host, Fun. E. Chimp.

   Today there has been an incredibly rare sighting of the Writer Monkey said to have lived in the cave just south of our jungle broadcasting station. Eyewitnesses have confirmed from this that the Writer Monkey is in fact not dead and has neither been abducted by chocolate. Our on site news reporter Monkey Gone Wild is with professor What's His Name as we speak who has offered to comment on this event. Over to you Monkey.

   ~Well thank you Fun. Yes right now I'm here at the professor's study enjoying a cooling banana smoothie and speaking with him about what exactly can make a Writer Monkey disappear besides easily suspected chocolate abductions. Professor, what exactly is your opinion?

   >Well Monkey, as I see it the thing which young writer monkeys are easily prone to suffer from but which isn't as easily obvious to the casual observer are laziness attacks, the I-Can't-Think-Of-What-To-Say Syndrome and a very infectious disease known in layman's terms as "But The Game Is Just So Fun." Once contracted this horrible infection almost forces the potential writer to re-focus all of his or her attention onto a video game or other similar activity, denying them the time to focus on their writing. It's really quite tragic.

   ~And you believe the Writer Monkey might have contracted this illness?

   >I really can't say, but so far I've only found one cure for the condition, and let's just say it involves a pair of pliers, barbed wire, a sack of feathers, a rocking horse and super glue.

   ~I can't honestly say I want to hear you put all that together, professor.

   >That's strange. A lot of people say that...

   ~Anyway, now back to the studio.

   In related news there is evidence that Electrostatic Fantasy is in fact nearing completion. These statements, although deemed incredulous by some, bear out in the sense that nearly half of the novel now stands in a final form of editing.

   Our efforts to contact the Monkey have also *cough*finally*cough cough* succeeded and there is news of upcoming regular updates and an updating schedule.

   Please stay tuned for the next broadcast of SIMIAN CITY NEWS!!