Simian City News! A Rare Species Spotted

'About time we heard
something from this Writer Monkey'

And now it's time for the latest news from your favourite...

SIMIAN CITY NEWS!

I'm your host, Fun. E. Chimp.

   Today there has been an incredibly rare sighting of the Writer Monkey said to have lived in the cave just south of our jungle broadcasting station. Eyewitnesses have confirmed from this that the Writer Monkey is in fact not dead and has neither been abducted by chocolate. Our on site news reporter Monkey Gone Wild is with professor What's His Name as we speak who has offered to comment on this event. Over to you Monkey.

   ~Well thank you Fun. Yes right now I'm here at the professor's study enjoying a cooling banana smoothie and speaking with him about what exactly can make a Writer Monkey disappear besides easily suspected chocolate abductions. Professor, what exactly is your opinion?

   >Well Monkey, as I see it the thing which young writer monkeys are easily prone to suffer from but which isn't as easily obvious to the casual observer are laziness attacks, the I-Can't-Think-Of-What-To-Say Syndrome and a very infectious disease known in layman's terms as "But The Game Is Just So Fun." Once contracted this horrible infection almost forces the potential writer to re-focus all of his or her attention onto a video game or other similar activity, denying them the time to focus on their writing. It's really quite tragic.

   ~And you believe the Writer Monkey might have contracted this illness?

   >I really can't say, but so far I've only found one cure for the condition, and let's just say it involves a pair of pliers, barbed wire, a sack of feathers, a rocking horse and super glue.

   ~I can't honestly say I want to hear you put all that together, professor.

   >That's strange. A lot of people say that...

   ~Anyway, now back to the studio.

   In related news there is evidence that Electrostatic Fantasy is in fact nearing completion. These statements, although deemed incredulous by some, bear out in the sense that nearly half of the novel now stands in a final form of editing.

   Our efforts to contact the Monkey have also *cough*finally*cough cough* succeeded and there is news of upcoming regular updates and an updating schedule.

   Please stay tuned for the next broadcast of SIMIAN CITY NEWS!!

Simian City News! BREAKTHROUGH!

We interrupt your regular monkey soap program to bring you an important news bulletin. Covered by your very own and loved...

SIMIAN CITY NEWS!!

Good evening. I'm M. Ad Baboon your news reader for this evening, and this lovely monkey on my right is my assistant Chimpy Chimpers Chimpette Chimp Chala Loala Lalalalala Chimpers-Zene Chimps Chimpara III.

Breakthrough.

Almost incredible reports lately sent to our news headquarters claim that the first version of Electrostatic Fantasy would be complete!

According to an e-mail we received yesterday from a very reliable source, around the end of last week some eye-witnesses claim to have seen the last sentence of the story finally put down.

*Chimpette turns her head.* But you said the source was Bob "The Bottle" Monkey who's always drunk around the corner. Is he really that 'reliable'?

*anchor monkey stares in silence for a moment* Silence my sweet, insignificant assistant.

*clears throat*

Many of you will know that since the famed NaNoWriMo 2009 event, in which the Writer Monkey made her escape from WannabeWriter Zoo, the last chapter of E.F. had yet to be completed. Two years have passed and seen little more than sad attempts at scribbling something of a first version for this ever important portion of the story. What would happen? Who would die? And it what order? And most crucially, what would be the answer to that eternal small talk topic of the authoring world: what is the last sentence of your novel?

But incredibly, through all odds and unlikelihood, the Writer Monkey has actually continued on her writing quest!

Fear not dear viewers, the shock comes as heavily upon the cast as it does on you.

*Chimpette turns her head toward anchor* Why are you being so dramatic? You always tell me news is about being serious and that its not a Shakespearian play.

*anchor* Silence assistant!

Ahem, where was I...?

We are told by the Monkey that we are unable to release the last sentences as they are very much likely to endure changes. Currently this story is under rigorous editing and is expected to either read or almost ready for Beta Reader stage in late October. More on this story as it develops.

Into the Future!

It's almost October, and this means it is time for writiers around the planet to begin gearing up for the most exciting and challenging event of the year. That's right, it's NANOWRIMO TIME! This means it's also upon us to begin thinking about which novels we shall be offering up to the altar of abuse come later autumn. In an interview earlier this weekend, our own Writer Monkey had this to say on the subject:

"Whether you keep your jobs or not is of no interest nor importance to me. There's no chance I'll pour out my creative aspirations at their most vulnerable stage for the sake of your journalist career. You lot eat my bananas, drink my Fanta and are misusing your rights to post on this blog by broadcasting these shows randomly. I am SO making you your own log on. I refuse to have you impersonating me any longer. When I want to reveal my diabolical plans for world domination to my dedicated disciples, I shall do so myself!

And you make way too much noise with the cappuccino machine! How is a Monkey supposed to concentrate in all this hullabaloo?!"

*anchor speaks quietly to assistant* Hold on Chimpette, I thought this was the good interview? What happened to the tape?

*Chimpette whispers* Well I kind of ate the last cookie while I was over there so she...

* anchor, getting annoyed* She what?

*Chimpette* She kind of put the good tape into a blender and drank it along with her banana milkshake.

*anchor sighs*

More on the Monkey's plans to come.

Thank the flying monkeys it's time to say, that's all for tonight from...

SIMIAN CITY NEWS!

*Chimpette* But you said you were going to let me sing at the end of the show!

*anchor walks out muttering* I can't take this. I can't work with that monkey.

Simian City News! Edits Mania

Hello and a good evening to all our human and monkey viewers alike. Now it's time for another broadcast of your favourite...

SIMIAN CITY NEWS! ;D

Today we bring you more random meshed gibberish revolving around a crazed monkey writer stuck in a cave, stories and lots of questionable beverages. Now let's get this over with, our camera guy has to be back at the zoo by 6:30. *anchor monkey adjusts his tie and coughs*

Edits Mania!

Eyewitnesses have sighted the Monkey With Fanta at her laptop often over the past week. Sources tell us that although this may easily be inferred as just another bout of procrastination, it has actually been confirmed as editing fever. The victim of the act has been identified as the first book of Arkanos. Our reporter Craz. E. Gibbon interviewed the chief of police of the Monkey Metropolitan force and has confirmed that the intended target of this attack was initially Electrostatic Fantasy. So far the MM force have discovered that as much as six chapters have been subject to the onslaught of this obsessive editing but there have been no reports of casualties. We are informed that the experts are still investigating and we will be sure to keep you up-to-date with all the latest details.

Not So Edits Mania...

In the weather forecast for the up coming days there are predictions of further edits in the region of the wrong story along with some potential attempts at writing. Residents of the Tick Tock Wonderwood area are warned to prepare for a possibly extensive drought season, while those of you living close by to Arkanos - Memorycatcher should expect heavy flooding. In the likely event of a natural disaster in Writ-Ing Land authorities are already standing by and preparing emergency rations of lattes and herbal tea for distribution.

And in seafaring related forecasts, those of you heading out to Electrostatic Fantasy oceans should prepare for heavy storms combined with fake sunshine.

And we'll bring you more of the latest weather later in the week.

And in other news...

Wait, my notes end here. Is this all the news we have? *leans back in chair and shouts to off-stage guy* Don't tell me this is all we've got for the broadcast. We've been off-air for over a week!

*off-stage guy* Our journalists are monkeys, what do you expect?

*anchor faces viewers again* Okay, well this is sufficiently awkward. Please tune in again for more exciting and random news from your favourite news program...

SIMIAN CITY NEWS!

*lights go out*

Don't tell me Chimpy forgot to pay the electricity bill again...

Simian City News -- Full Update

A good afternoon to all our viewers from Simian City News, your favourite update crew of crazy apes right here on the Monkey's Fanta World Blogspot channel!

Since our host, Monkey with Fanta, has been absent from the site for some time we are happy to announce that Simian News will be fulfilling necessary updates while the Monkey is away.

Today's broadcast will cover a full update with the Monkey's novels as well as what's scheduled for the future!

Tune in for exciting announcements about rising stars, salvaged survivors and new arrivals...as well as some sad news about a death in the Monkey's family of stories.

Let's begin!

Electrostatic Fantasy

The little first-born darling is darting fast through edits and is halfway to beta-reader stage. Nine out of the fourteen chapters have been edited to near-completion and the Monkey has recently been sighted randomly disturbing customers frequenting cafés, keeping the underwater adventure rolling! The target for completed edits on E.F. remains end of May, but our ape analysts remain sceptical as a previous estimate said the story would be completed in March. Stay tuned human friends, this promises to be a thrilling race to the finish.

Arkanos (Book One) Memorycatcher

...Has seen no progress whatsoever. However, a good few months of separation have definitely improved the relationship between this pesky story and our novice novelist and I am happy to announce that they are on speaking terms again. Our sources tell us that the Monkey won't undertake Arkanos while she's still working with E.F. (as this baby is 'quite a handful'), but once E.F. is complete the Arkanos project shall resume!

Through Glass

This particular story had to be rushed to the ER after a bout of high fever and a severe limp. We've been informed that the plot doctors are doing their very best to locate the source of the problem, but they are not expecting a rapid recovery. Our on-site reporter Craz E. Gibbon did his best to get an explanation out of them, but the only statement they gave was that it was something to do with lack of tension and the absence of an antagonist. Rest assured that the good monkeys at Simian City News will keep you updated on the situation as it develops.

The skAI Butterfly

We are sad to bring you the news that there has been a death in our literary family. It seems that this butterfly flew too close to the planet PANTS and had it's pretty little wings burned. We contacted the Monkey for a statement and she said,

"The pantser approach for me is more about beating writer's block and instilling inspiration that it is about creating a masterpiece. The day that a pantsied novel does not make the bin-and-rewrite list will likely never rise. The plot-problem monster attacked my house and swallowed my laptop whole. Now where's my latte?!"

Being the youngest addition to the team, The skAI Butterfly will have to wait a while to be addressed and as such will not be returning into our ranks soon. However, the funeral has not been arranged yet and the Monkey is reportedly working on an evil spell to rise it from the dead. This to be continued.

Tick Tock WonderWood

And just a week ago a story which was thought lost overseas was rescued and returned to its place in the random pile of budding novels. It's rumoured that this new story is centred around elves from the distant past, rebellion and the dangers surrounding revenge. The WonderWood won't be added to the site just yet. But the loyal Simian News gang will keep their eyes peeled and ensure you are right at the edge of the action.

There have been rumours floating about that the Monkey is thinking of adding another snippet from Electrostatic Fantasy to the Excerpts page in the near future, as well as E.F. art.

Thanks for watching and tune in again for more excitement from your favourite show...

Simian City News!